Broken vicious circle of restless times

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I’m tired, it’s a phrase we mostly throw around as an excuse or as an attempt to justify our actions and behavior. It’s the simplicity in the phrase, however, that makes it so misleading.

Being tired can be mental, physical or a combination of both. It can affect you slightly, or severely; it’s tedious either way. It can be more than sleepless nights, it can be restless, wicked and sometimes, seemingly lethal.

It’s a state I have been all too familiar with. Living with constant aching desires for peace and rest, it seemed as if there was a war in my mind. All I wished for was a truce. Due to my inablity to find my inner peace, I instead found myself in a constant loop of restless nights, which resulted in reckless days. I stopped caring and walked among a path of self loathing and destruction. I started growing weary of life itself, it became heavier with each breath and to carry my body started feeling like a burden.

I broke out of the vicious circle a while back ago, but I fear of falling into that routine of old again. My life seems to be a constant dynamic between burnouts, thus feeling exhausted, and irrationnal confidence. One moment I seem to have it all together, only to watch everything fall apart in the next. Sometimes this is partly due to things out of my control. I admit that I could have always handled most unfortunate happenings better but in all honesty, I simply did not know better. Fortunately I always learned from my mistake, though I’m unsure whether I would actually take those self taught lessons in regard. I can hope that my foolish self will find peace with the bit of, hopefully growing, rationality within me.

I suppose that is the bright side to this burning pessimistic paradise I have found myself in today. To learn something must be one of the most precious things in life, so consider a broken vicious circle of restless times a lifelesson and irrational behavior a step closer to finding inner peace, wisdom and rationality.


Credits:
*Hair: Love [Honeysuckle][Brunettes] @ The Fantasy Collective
*Dress: Petite Mort- Ivory Zoe maxi dress @ Lost & Found
*Head: CATWA HEAD Amelie V4.9
*Head applier: Insol: face Camila (CATWA), ST04 ‘Copper’
Body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V3.5
*Eyes: AG. Elysian Eyes – Swamp

*Scene: Moroccan Dreams (Adult) CHEZ MOI (pose included)


Event dates:
The Fantasy Collective | August 22 – September 15
Lost & Found | August 22 – September 1

Amelie, je t’adore

Amelie, je t'adore
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Credits:
*Hair: Love [Cat Calls] [Mystics]
*Top: MOZ “Brisa” Halter Corset
*Shorts: MOZ “Brisa” Shorts
*Head: CATWA HEAD Amelie V4.9
*Head applier: .::WoW Skins::. GG AUG. NATASHA TAN 2016 OMEGA ADV APPL.
*Lipstick: Oceane – Lovely Lips 5-pack 3 Omega [HUD] @ The Makeover Room
Body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V3.5
*Eyes: AG. Elysian Eyes – Swamp


Event dates:
The Makeover Room | August 1 – 25

 

Blue is the warmest colour

Blue is the warmest colour
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Another post inspired by a movie I have yet to see. Will I ever watch a movie prior to mentioning it on my blog? I have actually been wanting to watch this movie for about a year, but the timing just never seemed right. I am planning to watch this movie somewhere next week, as my next semester is already starting the week after that (week 36).

Summer truly flew by, and the amount of time I have spent within the virtual world is an awful lot. In all honesty, I’m not proud of it. I wish I had spent more time with my friends catching pokémon or doing whatever we millennials are supposed to do. I wish I would have seen the beach, the forest, or felt the late night summer heat on my skin more than once or twice. Time spent with my friends, virtual or real life ones, is always well spent. However, realizing I have seen more digital landscapes than real ones the past few weeks fills me with distress and regret, hence my spontaneous absences.

I am aware that “consistency” seems to be a word I am highly unfamiliar with. As I have recalled so many times, all I wish to do is live my life to the fullest. Thus making this lifestyle in which I waste my days behind a computer screen in an attempt to be “consistent” whilst the sun is shining and I have 3 missed calls from my best friend, perhaps slightly unsuitable for me.

I will not quit. Though I will decrease my time in-world and spent it in-the-real-world instead, I will still be spending some time in the twisted universe that is Second Life. But, before my textbooks and nights of revising hit me hard again, I have a few beaches and forests to visit, ciao! ♥


Credits:
*Hair: Love [K.Love] @ The Crossroads
*Head: CATWA HEAD Dyana V4.9
Head applier: [theSkinnery]  Grace (Catwa Applier) – champagne
Freckles: Style by Kira – Nose Freckles Set 1 – Basic (currently unavailable)
*Lipstick: Arte – Catwa Applier – Sunlit Lips  Set 02 @ The Makeover Room
*Eyes: AG. Elysian Eyes – Ocean
Ears: BentBox Sylvan Ears – Large


Event dates:
The Crossroads | August 3 – 28
The Makeover Room | August 1 – 25

Great fear of shallow living

Great fear of shallow living
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Living life to the fullest, it’s something most of us wish to do, though it is hard to paint a picture of how this life is supposed to look like. Perhaps that is because “living life to the fullest” differs for all of us. Some find happiness in lifelong commitments, whereas others prefer to continuously rotate their lifestyle. Whilst some find satisfaction in a life spent with their beloved family in the suburbs, some strive for more.

Personally, I have not been able to make up my mind as to which life I desire to live. I enjoy chasing my dreams, big or small. I fear of it taking its toll on me though. Adventurous living and dream chasing can become quite exhausting, and perhaps, quite lonely too. Despite the fears, the presence of this wanderlust filled adventurer inside me is not to be silenced. How I wish to see the depths of the oceans through my own scuba mask, or feel the raindrops fall from Amazonian jungle leaves gently roll down my arm.

But there’s a part of me that has great wishes of lifelong romances and the perfectly average family life. Picking up kids after soccer practice or ballet classes. A lifestyle complimented by family dinners and movie nights. Even waving the youngsters goodbye as they go off to start their very own life, how heartbreaking it may be, is part of this contrary desire. But of course, here as well, lies angst and fear. Fear of living a dull life, growing weary of the routines and ordinariness of it all.

These fears are insignificant compared to my great fear of shallow living. Truth be told, I’d much rather follow either of the lifestyles above and put up with its unfavorable consequences, than to live a life in which I feel as if I’m not living at all. Delving into the beauty of either of these lifestyles would (partly) compensate for its unfavorable consequences anyway.

To conclude, remember to always be grateful for what you already have. Because sometimes it might feel as if we live a shallow life, as if life as a whole is simply meaningless. Well, my dear reader, this is up to you to change. Often times this change is only as minor as shifting perspectives, opening your eyes and noticing the slightest changes that cause no day to ever be the same. You will see that life, even in its seemingly most ordinary state, is actually an extraordinary spectacle.

“I must be a mermaid
I have no fear of depths
and a great fear of shallow living”
– Anaïs Nin


Credits:
*Hair: Love [Sippy Cup] [Mystics] @ Hairology
*Top: :::Sn@tch Batik Halter Bikini Top (White-U):::
*Tail: *M.C.* Sea Mist Tail – Pink
*Head: CATWA HEAD Destiny V4.9 @ MBA Fair 2016
*Head applier: Lumae :: Eirtae – Imryll // Bare @ MBA Fair 2016
Body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V3.5
*Eyes: AG. Elysian Eyes – Ocean

Pose: Nais – Delphine – 06
Location: Mermaid’s cave


Event dates:
Hairology | August 10 – 30
MBA Fair 2016 | August 1 – 21

Water Lily

Water Lily
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Credits:
*Hair: #Foxy – Smitten Kitten. @ The Chapter Four
*Dress: *Sweet Kajira*Luna Pearl Dress @ Fantasy Gacha Carnival
*Armlets: *Sweet Kajira*Brazal Pearl @ Fantasy Gacha Carnival
*Headpiece: *Sweet Kajira*Tiara Double Pink
*Head: CATWA HEAD Dyana V4.9
*Head applier: Insol: face Camila (CATWA), ST02 ‘Creme’
Body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V3.5
Ears: BentBox Sylvan Ears – Large
*Eyes: AG. Elysian Eyes – Fairy

Pose: Overlow Poses – Pack 83

Scene:
*Trees: LB_Sassafras.v3{4Seasons}
*Branch: uK – Driftwood Beach Lights Dark v1
*Waves: ~*SR*~ Double Waves ~ Ghost @ Fantasy Cream IV


Event dates:
The Chapter Four | August 4 – 24
Fantasy Gacha Carnival | August 7 – September 7
Fantasy Cream IV | July 18 – August 18

The beauty in never growing up

The beauty in never growing up
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Adulthood seems to be a reoccuring theme on my blog, as it is also a reoccuring fear that casually lingers between my everyday thoughts. Fortunately, Buzzfeed tells us that it is possible to be the real life incarnation of Peter Pan! (Sort of…)

In all seriousness, I genuinely did enjoy watching this short but powerful video. I remember being incredibly worried myself about not being able to wear pastel colours when I would grow up because “that is not what adults wear”. It is a strange thing to worry about, but it troubled my mind regardless.

What saddened me though were the few comments calling the video “useless” or another one of Buzzfeed’s “we ran out of idea’s”-moments. To be fair, Buzzfeed does have their quirky moments (to put it lightly), but video’s such as these can, besides being very amusing, also be quite helpful and comforting. It reminds me that there are others like me who would love to rock pastel hair and bold coloured clothing at the age of 30, and that it forgiveable to not be a perfect, society crafted adult, but to be yourself instead.

What I mean by that is that some of us grow up to be different than the stereotypical pile of responsibilities and wisdom that is an average adult. Honestly, it’s okay to be either; so long as you are being yourself and feel comfortable with the person you are. Often times we find that we channel a spirit that we are not, purely for the sake of fitting in or being able to reach society’s standard and sometimes, sadly, your friends or families standards. Remember that this right here is your life and it is up to you to decide how it is shaped. Don’t let standards decide who you are, how you dress, or the life you live in general. You are the artist of your own lively masterpiece and the conductor of your own spiritual orchestra.

“To me, getting older isn’t changing who you are
because of what people expect you to be,
but really owning who you are”
Mynxii White


Credits:
*Headpiece: PH – Mad Hattery – Jester RARE @ Fantasy Gacha Carnival
*Bodysuit: :::Sn@tch Allegra Swimsuit (Violet-P):::
*Head: CATWA HEAD Dyana V4.9
*Head applier: Lumae :: Eirtae – Elanil // Bare @ MBA Fair 2016
*Eyeshadow: .::frosting::. Shimmer Shadows – Fiesta, Green/Purple (Omega) @ The Makeover Room
Body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V3.5
*Left eye: AG. Elysian Eyes – Amethyst
*Right eye: AG. Elysian Eyes – Aqua

Location: The Place


Event dates:
Fantasy Gacha Carnival | August 7 – September 7
MBA Fair 2016 | August 1 – 21
The Makeover Room | August 1 – 25