Earlier today I said I would write a post regarding my current situation and status and I honestly did wanted to do that asap so here it is:
To put it simple, I have been feeling very overwhelmed as well in real life as on Second Life. I may have addressed this feeling before. The feeling that my Second Life is absolutely splendid and everything seems so wonderful but it can easily shift to being overwhelming and stressful. These feelings are so perfectly described in the song FML by K. Flay. That song is basically my Second Life autobiography. I feel so blessed for all of the opportunities and love I receive on the grid and I am truly so thankful to be surrounded by the amazing residents who I so happily call my friends, but sometimes it all becomes a bit much. I have been feeling so stressed at certain times and there is a constant presence of guilt and insecurities that poisons my mind. The problem does not lie within these incredible phenomenons that have occured within my life on the grid. Truly this problem lays within the feeling that I don’t work hard enough or show enough passion and dedication. The problems lays within the feeling that I am not good enough, which is an insecurity I have addressed in a previous post.
As for my real life, I would rather not get into details about it but I, once again, feel very overwhelmed by the current situations. Though for my real life, most feelings are tilted towards the negative side of things. It feels as if I’m drowning in a mixed drink and all of its ingredients originate from the things that have recently took a turn for the worse in my life. This ranges from work/school to love and relationships. It’s a toxic drink of which I would not recommend anyone to take a sip off, have some strawberry soda or lemonade instead! (I’m totally craving for that now)
Altogether, I’ve been feeling rather dazed and overwhelmed by everything that is surrounding me and I hope that you will all accept my sincere apology for not being my usual self. I hope all of this rambling and emotional blabbing won’t scare you off too much. I will get back to being all bubbly and quirky Chloë-ish when time allows, you are not the only one who wishes to see that girl again, I miss her too. Though she does come to visit from time to time and you can rest assure that if I do show any sign of happiness or attempt at radiating positive vibes that it is all genuine. I will never be anything but honest towards you as well as towards myself. So, once more, thank you so much for all of your patience and kindness. It truly means a lot to me during these kind of times and I will never be anything but grateful for that ♥
“Is it love when so easily said goodbye?
Is it love when we’ve given up before we tried?
Is it love when you stole my peace of mind?
Is it love when you cry, and cry, and cry?”
“You’re a dangerous love
Baby, you’re no good for me, darling
‘Cause if you’re gonna love me and leave me hanging here
Then I’d rather you leave me lonely
Even though it hurts
You’re a dangerous love”
– Ariana Grande, Leave Me Lonely
Hair: rezology Wispy Topkot *
Outfit: Entice – Light My Fire – FATPACK *
Shoes: Snowpaws – Moya Strap Heel – Gold *
Necklace: Baubles! by Phe PeacockNecklace (Gold) @ On9 *
Head: CATWA HEAD Helena V4.9 *
Head Applier: Lumae :: Eirtae – T4 – Fawn // Bare (Freck / Brow 5) *
Body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V3.5