I’m tired, it’s a phrase we mostly throw around as an excuse or as an attempt to justify our actions and behavior. It’s the simplicity in the phrase, however, that makes it so misleading.
Being tired can be mental, physical or a combination of both. It can affect you slightly, or severely; it’s tedious either way. It can be more than sleepless nights, it can be restless, wicked and sometimes, seemingly lethal.
It’s a state I have been all too familiar with. Living with constant aching desires for peace and rest, it seemed as if there was a war in my mind. All I wished for was a truce. Due to my inablity to find my inner peace, I instead found myself in a constant loop of restless nights, which resulted in reckless days. I stopped caring and walked among a path of self loathing and destruction. I started growing weary of life itself, it became heavier with each breath and to carry my body started feeling like a burden.
I broke out of the vicious circle a while back ago, but I fear of falling into that routine of old again. My life seems to be a constant dynamic between burnouts, thus feeling exhausted, and irrationnal confidence. One moment I seem to have it all together, only to watch everything fall apart in the next. Sometimes this is partly due to things out of my control. I admit that I could have always handled most unfortunate happenings better but in all honesty, I simply did not know better. Fortunately I always learned from my mistake, though I’m unsure whether I would actually take those self taught lessons in regard. I can hope that my foolish self will find peace with the bit of, hopefully growing, rationality within me.
I suppose that is the bright side to this burning pessimistic paradise I have found myself in today. To learn something must be one of the most precious things in life, so consider a broken vicious circle of restless times a lifelesson and irrational behavior a step closer to finding inner peace, wisdom and rationality.
*Hair: Love [Honeysuckle][Brunettes] @ The Fantasy Collective
*Dress: Petite Mort- Ivory Zoe maxi dress @ Lost & Found
*Head: CATWA HEAD Amelie V4.9
*Head applier: Insol: face Camila (CATWA), ST04 ‘Copper’
Body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V3.5
*Eyes: AG. Elysian Eyes – Swamp
*Scene: Moroccan Dreams (Adult) CHEZ MOI (pose included)
The Fantasy Collective | August 22 – September 15
Lost & Found | August 22 – September 1